It’s a day in January and just this morning everything appeared fine,
Last night was arguably the best day of my life.
You confirmed the notion that we would stay together,
And I had a dream that night.
See your heart was still in it,
Rowing down a river without a care in the world,
Tranquility and Serenity…
But clouds clouded my perspective.
Blind was I too them,
Just as well as the fine line I was crossing between,
Love and hate,
To what will make or break,
The bond between you and I.
I will admit I expensed all my energy in areas that bear no witness to our maturity,
As husband and wife,
And it leaves me wondering if,
The clouds were always there…
The fog obscured something that was missing in our relation,
So I put my heart in it,
So it’s only right then,
After being our heart throb,
For no common cause,
I would get my heart robbed.
Now I don’t want ambiguous,
The decision if you’re leaving or staying,
The cussin or praying,
Leaving me speculating,
If you care or if I ever cross your mind.
Now I don’t argue with anyone else like this,
I want stability but my thoughts are teeming with youth,
True I sleep talk, but it’s only to let my dreams walk, to free them from my mind.
Cold world and I wonder if I’m a masochist,
Because the best medicine to alleviate a ravaged soul would be to leave you alone,
Because I could never make you love me,
And pain seems to follow me,
And I hoped that the silence would have been my remedy.
Just as I speak in the darkness at night,
And my cries of ambition fall on deaths ears, their short lived.
So do my battle cries of love fall on your deaf ears.
See I could never make you love me,
But you were supposed to bring my son into this world and now you’ve left me lonely.
I return to stand before your high walls,
To march with patience and youth,
And restlessly pursue what I should have never lost, when I left you.
My pride, my happiness, my youth and with it all, you.